Holy weight loss!!!
I’m surprised no one thought of this before.
The Bible is not only a historical and scientific document, but it now is also a holy diet guide.
Pastor and “personal trainer” Ron Williams from the Foundation Church in Midvale, Utah, “used to think overweight people were maybe lazy couch potatoes.” But lo and behold, we can relax and pop open another box of delicious Pringles, as long as we commit to healing our souls… and BE MORE LIKE JESUS (How original)!!!
How does he get all these insane ideas from the Bible? Well, it was easy and, let’s be honest, obvious:
Jesus ate bread and fish!!!… a balanced mix of carbs and proteins.
Jesus was also seen wandering carrying a really heavy cross on his back once, so I’m glad to announce you can order your complete “Jesus Diet Kit” right here, starting soon!!!