Living With Mormons

If your life is as busy as mine, you know that sometimes somethings have to be sacrificed to make room for other, more important things like skipping your laundry to watch the Tour de France, for example.

But for a religious person sacrificing prayer time might mean sacrificing eternal happiness.

Well, sacrifice no more!
Unlike the many sites that offer online prayers (so 1980’s), Judaism’s holiest prayer site, The Western Wall, is adopting a cutting-edge approach to your requests: the ever-so-popular Twitter!

The service’s Web site says petitioners can tweet their prayers and they will be printed out and taken to the wall, where they will join the thousands of handwritten notes placed by visitors who believe their requests will find a shortcut to God by being deposited there.

It’s supposedly run by some young kid from Tel Aviv, which is to be expected, but the best part of the article (which came as a mild surprise to me) is this:

Tweet Your Prayers opened earlier this month but for several years, the Western Wall Heritage Foundation has operated a fax hot line and a Web site where people overseas can send their prayers and have them printed out and placed in the wall’s crevices.

Really? A prayer fax?
Is God really that stringent on his prayer requirements that you have to fax it so he can read it on a wall?

It is, however, always nice to see religion embracing science and technology.

I got a phone call yesterday (Sunday) from a Young Man in the ward of whom I really think very highly.
He is just one of those really neat kids who already has had to face some real challenges in his life but seems to be able to handle them graciously and maturely (much to the credit of his great mom, I believe).

He called me to invite me to come to Sacrament meeting. He said he was giving a talk and it would really mean a lot to him if I came to listen to him. I haven’t talked to him in a while, so I have to admit I was caught by surprise.
So, after more than 2 years enjoying my Sundays outside, I went against my better judgment and got my nice clothes on (no, I didn’t wear a suit… it looks like one way God has punished me for leaving church is by adding some fat around my waist).

We walked in to Sacrament a little late, which felt very familiar. I received a few welcoming looks from some familiar faces, but soon realized I didn’t recognize about half of the ward.
My boys quickly got busy with their toys on the floor and my wife seemed mildly interested in the talks while she fumbled around with her class material and toys and snacks.

I quickly realized that most of the ones invited to give talks were youth returning from various camps and sharing their experiences and bearing their testimonies. My young friend similarly stood up and followed suit and seemed especially passionate about his testimony, nearing a mild insult (and I’m sure unintentionally) when he said those without the spirit are empty inside.

He came up to me afterward to thank me for coming and a small army of people followed after him, some genuinely excited to see me and some disturbingly overreaching in making me feel welcome and needed.
At times I felt compelled to sincerely answer the “Why don’t you come to church anymore?” questions, but the grown men around me with tears still lingering in their eyes would most definitely unwelcome my telling them I believe the whole thing to be a huge, fat lie.

In the midst of handshakes, my wife was gone to her class, my youngest took his girlfriend’s hand into nursery, and my 6-year-old would most definitely be found sitting in the back of the Primary class, next to the leaders.
Part of me wanted to go home and watch Brazil beat the US for the Confederation Cup in an amazing come-back in the second half, but part of me (the not-so-wise part, I guess) decided to go hang out at Primary to see what my boy was being taught.
The lesson today was about forgiveness. A great topic, I admit, and one with which we all struggle from time to time. After they break for class, I decided I had had enough and went home to discover the game had not been recorded in my dvr (God’s punishment?) and I had missed it completely.

All in all, it was an uncomfortable experience and I figured I’m good for at least 2 more years or more.
It was different seeing the day unfold through the eyes of reason and reality. Without the lenses of blind belief, most of what was said seemed very empty and misguided.

I think I would have got more out of the football match.

As some of you might know, I share Sundays with my wife: one Sunday she takes the boys to church, the next Sunday they hang out with dad and we go ice skating. Well, my 2-year-old has been opting out of ice skating lately. He’s still attending nursery and I’m pretty sure he has a girlfriend there, so I can’t blame him and I don’t really mind (his brother, on the other hand, is happy to get out of going to church any day, which I don’t mind either).

But I’m happy to report that he joined me and his older brother this weekend ON HIS OWN ACCOUNT to the skating rink on Father’s Day and I couldn’t have asked for better. He’s quickly becoming a pretty good skater, actually.

We had a great time together, just me and the boys, and then an even better time when we joined mom for dinner and ice cream after church.

If you haven’t seen Disney Pixar’s latest flick, Up, you must, must, must go.

What a lovely, funny, and touching film!

I won’t add any spoilers here, but I will summarize the message I got from this movie:
Get out and do stuff with your life… now!
Also, pay attention and enjoy those small, seemingly mundane moments spent with the ones you love.

Ok, enough cheese. This movie really helped emphasize to me the importance of giving this life full credit.
From an atheist’s perspective, this life is the only one we’ll probably get to live, so live it well.

And, no, that does NOT constitute doing whatever you want without any regards to moral standards or the law, you silly little Christians. It means you shouldn’t waste it pondering all the beauty and peace and happiness and love you will have AFTER you die. Make those things happen today.

And go see Up already, for cripes sake!

Holy weight loss!!!
I’m surprised no one thought of this before.

The Bible is not only a historical and scientific document, but it now is also a holy diet guide.

Pastor and “personal trainer” Ron Williams from the Foundation Church in Midvale, Utah, “used to think overweight people were maybe lazy couch potatoes.” But lo and behold, we can relax and pop open another box of delicious Pringles, as long as we commit to healing our souls… and BE MORE LIKE JESUS (How original)!!!

How does he get all these insane ideas from the Bible? Well, it was easy and, let’s be honest, obvious:
Jesus ate bread and fish!!!… a balanced mix of carbs and proteins.

Jesus was also seen wandering carrying a really heavy cross on his back once, so I’m glad to announce you can order your complete “Jesus Diet Kit” right here, starting soon!!!

If you’re LDS or any flavor of Christian for that matter, could you please explain this to me, from the perspective of a loving father in heaven?

31 children, between the ages of 1 and 5, died in a fire at a day care facility in Mexico today.

Is this just one of the trials we have to face in order to be brought closer to god?

I can already hear those who will thank their “loving” god for saving the kids who just happened to have been picked up that day and avoided this horrific, painful death.

Religion undeniably elicits a great number of emotions on those involved in any way with its tenets.
Happiness or sadness, hopefulness or despair, love or anger, tolerance or intolerance, materialize as we apply our understanding of spiritual teachings to our lives.

In the LDS Church, however, feelings are not only a consequence of spiritual experiences, but an important tool in understanding and confirming of belief, as taught from the very beginnings of conversion.

But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. – D&C 9:8

LDS missionaries fail to see, among other things, the contradictory nature of the above statement when they freely advise their prospects to ponder and pray over the truth of the teachings they receive, for if one GENUINELY AND HONESTLY “studies” these teachings out in their minds, one is bound to uncover the thin layer of perceived holiness and perfection covering the beastly historical and controversial past of the LDS Church.
Most, however, will not heed the first part of this advice, and will only engage in the second part. Those who are conversion bound will receive, or at least perceive to receive, said physical confirmation by the well-known burning of one’s bosom, or something similar. I call them conversion bound for the simple fact that one would not engage in prayer directed to a god in which one did not already believe.

Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas simultaneously.

So what to do if you find yourself kneeling in your closet, shamefully whispering supplications to an imaginary being, asking for confirmation of the truth about your preconceived belief in him and/or some church?

Here are some simple steps you can take prior to taking the plunge into supernatural belief and mythical thinking:

1. The first thing I recommend you do is try to remember what you ate that day. It’s possible that you dipped that bean and cheese burrito one too many times in the sour cream and instead of the hand of the Lord massaging your innards, all you might really need is a good book (may I suggest something in the lines of critical thinking) and a few minutes on the porcelain throne.
2. Try to remember a time when you were only a small child and had to sleep alone in your room (the older you are, the harder this exercise will be). You had just watched a scary movie on tv or your older sibling kept telling you scary tales about the abandoned house down the street, and as you lay there in the dark, you couldn’t take your eyes away from the dark, ghoulish shape hanging from the end of your bed. You could bet your entire weekly allowance on it being a ghost or a killer vampire. You shouted for your parents to come save you from the creature’s slow, deadly approach, only to find out the shape came from the damp towel you forgot to hang in the bathroom. This is a simple form of confirmation bias, but one which plays an important role in religious beliefs.
3. As you’re speaking your prayer (speaking allegedly increases the strength of the signal), ask to receive your confirmation by a burning on somebody else’s bosom (your sleeping and un-forewarned spouse is a good victim). Immediately following your inquiry, unassumingly ask the person if they have had any unusual feelings in the last few minutes. Don’t be surprised if the answer to this question is yes, as you should know that people feel many things throughout the day. To control for this, you can pray several times for an extended period of time (say two weeks) at random intervals. However, it’s been observed that the main feeling this method generates is annoyance and/or anger.
4. If your spouse is sick and tired of your asking him/her how they’re feeling, it may be time to move things to the next level. This next method may seem a bit radical, but we are talking about your eternal salvation here and I’m sure you would rather not leave anything to pure chance or “gut feeling.” Since God has not given us the option of how to receive confirmation, we’re pretty much bound to the burning of the bosom. But fortunately, like many scriptural things, he did leave it open for interpretation. As you’re finishing your prayer asking for confirmation, ask for a literal burning of your bosom. Outside of some small cases of spontaneous combustion, this may be a pretty good indication of divine intervention (especially if it can be repeated consistently). I would, however, strongly advise in specifying the size, length, and degree of the burn to avoid a trip to the ER every time.
5. Lastly, if you do pray and you do indeed receive a (non-literal) burning of your bosom, you might want to consider the possibility that Satan is simply fucking with you.

I just spent a lovely evening with my wife at the movies.

Despite my reservations after being highly disappointed with The DaVinci Code, the movie, we decided to check out Angels and Demons (I read and enjoyed both books).

I was pleasantly surprised with this one, but I’m still thinking the bar was just set too low after the first movie.
Unlike the book, the film uses every opportunity to highlight the ongoing battle between religion and science, especially its historical bouts with the Catholic Church. Unfortunately, both disciplines seem to lose out at the end of this movie, a move that seems to be a cheap attempt at pleasing both sides of the argument.
On one side, you find a high-ranked CERN particle physicist questioning whether her work is ethical a la post-Einstein-nuclear bomb and a Cardinal who admits the Church was built by flawed men and pleads with Langdon to go easy on them when he writes his book.

I also couldn’t help but cringe at some of the lines delivered in the beginning of the movie about the Large Hadron Collider and dark matter… and I’m no physicist by any stretch of the imagination. Those guys must really be having a day with this one.

Langdon, on the other hand, stood his ground nicely (better even than the scientist) when questioned about his religious convictions and may have saved science in the end from being completely diminished in the film.

I’ll go ahead and recommend the movie, especially if you haven’t read the book. At the very least it is another avenue to raise discussion about a real issue we face today.

News like this really reinforce in me the desire for my wife and my children to disassociate themselves from the LDS church.

“I have this deep sense of failure for not being at Lisa’s bedside when she died,” Ms. Langbehn said. “How I get over that I don’t know, or if I ever do.”

I’m sorry I’ve been away for a few days, but I was busy getting ready for my first Marathon this past weekend.
It was all said and done on Saturday, so now I’m back (recovering).

Not much is going on these days, so I’ll leave you with this article I’ve been following recently:
It’s the story about a 13-year-old boy who was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, one of the most treatable forms of cancer, and whose family has denied medical care due to their religious beliefs.

It’s a sad story so far, but it promises a happy ending, since a Minnesota judge ruled the child will be evaluated for continued treatment (if it’s not too late) against the parent’s (and the child’s) wishes.