I’m sorry to hear about your issues with your wife, man. Religion is still, after a few years of leaving it, a sore topic around my house and a source for contention between me and my wife as well.

While I refrain from giving marital advice here, I can only share what experiences I’ve had and steps my wife and I have taken to minimize confrontation. The hardest part of the whole thing for me was not trying to convince her I was right and she was wrong anymore and start focusing on making our differences manageable (specially when it came to our kids). If you live in Utah, dealing with external influences is even harder because, aside from direct family members, you have an entire community (ward) pressuring your wife to participate in and follow church rules. If you live outside of Utah (or the Mormon belt, as I like to call; Utah, Idaho, Nevada), it may be a little easier to create other areas of focus for your family outside of religion (e.g. instead of going to church on Sundays, take a Sunday hike; participate in secular charities, etc) and show your wife she doesn’t need church to do good things and feel part of a community.

I would also point you to ex-mormon.org. You’ll find many, many stories there about many different issues people have come across when dealing with the church and their family and also a forum for discussion.

I wish you and your wife all the best.

Please stop by again.